Booking a first Counselling session can feel a little nerve-racking, especially if you're unsure what happens once you're there.
Will I have to share everything straight away?
Will I be judged?
What if I get emotional?
This blog answers those questions. It covers what a first session with me looks like, who this service is for, and what it isn't.
I'm Tanya, a qualified Counsellor and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Hypnosis Master Practitioner and Trainer, with nearly a decade of experience as a Counsellor. I work online only, by secure video, with women anywhere in Australia.
Who this is for
The women I work with have left a controlling relationship and keep finding the same kind of man. Some left recently. Some left ten years ago and are only now asking the deeper questions. Some are still deciding whether to leave.
Most have already done a lot of self-reflection. They've read the books, done the therapy, listened to the podcasts. And then, somehow, they find themselves in the same situation again, with a different face across the table.
What they often share is a fear that their judgement is permanently broken.
They're not looking for someone to tell them what to do. They've had enough of that. They're looking for a space to think clearly, to understand the patterns that have shaped their choices, and to start making decisions that are theirs.
If that resonates with you, read on.
What this service is, and what it isn't
This is one-to-one Counselling. Several sessions are packaged together on topics you may be struggling with, like boundaries and voice, your stress response, the pattern, beliefs and values.
This is not crisis Counselling, as there are specialised services for that. If you are in immediate danger, please call 000.
For 24-hour support, 1800RESPECT is available on 1800 737 732, and Lifeline is available on 13 11 14. I can also point you towards other crisis services if you need them. If you're unsure, go to my contact page and reach out. I'm here to help.
What I offer is a space for reflection, for recognising patterns, and for working through what's kept you stuck. If you're in crisis right now, the services above are the right first call.
Why the first session matters
Your first session is the foundation.
It's where we begin to build the kind of trust that makes the deeper work possible. For many of the women I work with, it's the first time they've spoken their story out loud to someone who isn't a friend, a family member, or a person with a stake in what they decide.
That matters more than it might sound.
What happens in a first session
Here's what we typically move through together.
Welcome and grounding. We start with a warm hello and a brief overview of how the session runs. If you're feeling nervous, I may guide you through a short grounding or breathing practice before we begin. You don't need to arrive composed. You just need to arrive.
Your story, at your pace. You share as much or as little as you're ready to. My role is to listen carefully, ask questions that help you clarify your own thinking, and understand what's been happening for you. There's no pressure to cover everything in one session.
What you'd like to be different. Together, we explore what you'd like to work on. That might be understanding why you keep choosing the same kind of partner. It might be learning to trust your own instincts again. It might be something you can't quite name yet. All of those are a reasonable place to start.
Planning together. Together we focus on one theme. One or two small changes in a recurring relationship pattern can make a huge difference over the long term. When one person in a relationship changes the dance steps, the other person cannot continue the same dance moves without stepping on your toes. The rhythm is broken.
My approach is different
This is not talk therapy with an endless number of sessions. Together we focus on outcomes, goals and what you'd like to happen. And an important question most people do not ask: "How will you know you've reached it?"
I draw on Counselling, NLP, Clinical Hypnosis and nervous system regulation practices. My approach is trauma-informed and strengths-based, which means we work from what's already in you, not from a deficit.
You'll always know why we're doing something.
I don't use a technique without explaining it. I don't ask you to trust a process you can't see. That matters for women who've spent time in relationships where they were kept in the dark about what was happening and why.
On confidentiality: what you share stays between us, within the limits every registered Counsellor works to. Those limits are about immediate risk to life. I explain them at the start of our first session, so you're never guessing.
A few suggestions to consider before your first session
If it's OK with you, here are 3 small suggestions that can help.
- Bring an open mind. You don't need the perfect way to explain your situation. You don't need to have it figured out. That's what the session is for.
- Jot down key points beforehand. If you're worried you'll forget something important, write it down. A few dot points is enough.
- Allow yourself to feel. Emotions may come up. That's OK. You're in a safe, confidential space.
A beginning, not a resolution
A first session is a beginning where we explore your story and what's brought you to this point. We dive into what you'd like to be different, why it matters to you and why reaching out now is important. When you decide to go ahead, in the following sessions we put together a plan of what ongoing support and change would look like for you.
Of course you might arrive hoping for more than that. A beginning can feel underwhelming when you've been waiting a long time for the pattern to change. And yet a careful beginning is what the rest of the work is built on.
Not ready to book yet?
That's OK.
If you'd like somewhere to start that doesn't ask for a commitment, the FREE 7-Day Manipulation Detox is a FREE email challenge: one short email a day for 7 days, designed to help you spot red flags before you fall for them.
It isn't a substitute for Counselling. It's a place to start.
Start the FREE 7-Day Manipulation Detox
You’re not doing this alone.
Rediscover. Reconnect. Recreate my life.
