Counselling, Coaching and Clinical Hypnotherapy for women recovering from controlling relationships · Online, Australia and overseas
When intensity feels like love, red flags feel like sparks.
The free 7-Day Manipulation Detox explains why that happens, and gives you a practical framework, one day at a time, to tell the difference before you're in deep.
Nothing is wrong with you. What kept you safe once is still making decisions. That part can be worked with.
You can name the pattern. You’ve read the books, sat through the therapy, listened to the podcasts. And still you find yourself with the same kind of man, feeling the same way, wondering what’s wrong with you.
Here’s what I would like you to consider. Understanding a pattern and changing the response underneath it are two entirely different processes. Almost everything you’ve tried worked at the level of understanding. That’s why it all made sense, and why nothing shifted.
That response underneath is what we work with. I do that work with women every week.
If any of this sounds familiar
You’re not the only one, and you’re not broken
- You knew, somewhere around the third week, and you stayed anyway.
- You can explain exactly what happened, to anyone except yourself.
- Friends said "just leave", and it made you feel more alone, not less.
- You’re frightened your judgement is permanently broken, so you’ve stopped trusting it at all.
- You’d rather be on your own forever than get this wrong again, and that thought frightens you too.
On the one hand you’ve tried harder than almost anyone you know, and yet on the other hand nothing has held. That gap is what people misread as a flaw in them. It isn’t. It’s the difference between understanding a pattern and changing the response underneath it.
How the work is different
Understanding it was never going to be enough
Talking gives you insight. Insight is useful and it isn’t the same as change. We work at both levels at once.
We start with what happened to you, not what’s wrong with you
Controlling behaviour is designed to be hard to see from inside. Naming what was actually done to you, precisely, is often the first time the shame moves.
We work below the conversation
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), family systems, Hypnotherapy and Time Line Therapy® alongside talking, so we reach the responses that fire before your thinking mind gets a say.
You practise, you don’t just plan
Boundaries, saying the difficult sentence, noticing the early signals. Your words practised with me, rather than written down and never used.
You leave able to trust yourself again
The goal isn’t managing your symptoms forever. It’s you, making your own decisions, without checking them against everyone else first.
In their words
Women who’ve been where you are
"Before starting this Program I had been in toxic relationship after toxic relationship, and had lost all hope of ever finding a healthy relationship. Since completing this Program, I have opened myself up to the idea of dating again. This Program has empowered me to build a loving and healthy relationship with myself."Kara S.
"Tanya used Time Line Therapy® to clear negative emotions such as anger, sadness, fear, hurt and guilt. I now feel empowered to achieve my goal of being healthy in body and mind and to have the energy to achieve what I want in life."Wendy S.
Watch Rawina's story, and read more
Our first conversation is mostly me listening, and I’ll ask a few questions. It’s free, my gift to you. No strings, no judgement.
Who you’d be working with
I’ve sat on your side of this
In 2021 I walked out of my marriage with my 9-year-old son and no real plan. I was already a practising Counsellor. I had the theory, I understood the patterns, and none of it protected me from living it. What eventually changed wasn’t my understanding. It was something that shifted underneath it. That is what I work on with the women who come to me.
I hold a Diploma of Counselling and I’m registered with the Australian Counselling Association (ACA) (Level 2), an active member since 2017. I’m an NLP and Hypnosis Master Practitioner and Trainer with the Tad James Company, and a trained Circle of Security facilitator.
Those qualifications are why it’s safe to do this work with me. The reason I do it is what I lived through.
Before you get in touch
The questions women actually ask me
Do I have to leave the relationship to work with you?
Where you are changes what we work on, not whether the work is available to you.
If you’re still in a relationship, let’s have a free conversation first and see if it’s a good fit. My focus is keeping you safe first.
I’ve already had counselling and it didn’t change anything. Why would this?
Most counselling works at the level of understanding. By the time you arrive, you can usually explain the pattern. What I do differently is work with your responses underneath the understanding. Not what you said in the argument, but the pattern of arguing, by interrupting the unwanted behaviour and communication patterns, and the automatic or defensive reactions.
Together we create a felt sense of safety in your own body, discover your relationship values, and align them with the kind of man who actually feels safe for you. And practise in the real world, not just in a session.
Do you work online or in person?
Online, by secure video, anywhere in Australia or overseas. I live and work on Dharawal country, based in Wollongong.
Is what I tell you confidential?
Yes. What you say stays between us, within the limits every registered Counsellor works to, which is about immediate risk to life. I’ll explain those limits in our first session so you’re never guessing.
What happens in the first session?
Mostly listening. I’m curious about what brought you here and what you’d like to be different. By the end of it you’ll have a clear sense of what working together would look like, and you’re free to decide it isn’t for you.
If you’d like to know more before we meet, you’re welcome to read What to expect in your first Counselling session.
What’s the difference between a Counsellor and a Psychologist?
Psychologists are trained to diagnose and treat mental health conditions using research-based treatment plans. Counselling doesn’t require a diagnosis. It meets you where you are, and makes space to explore your relationships and the patterns that keep showing up in your life.
If you’re weighing up your options, I’ve written a plain-language breakdown in Counselling vs Psychology vs Coaching.
Are you a registered Counsellor?
Yes. I’m registered with the Australian Counselling Association at Level 2, and hold a Diploma of Counselling. I’ve been practising since 2017.
Why do I keep ending up with the same kind of man, even when I know better?
Knowing the pattern and being able to change it are two different things. Understanding arrives in the mind. The pull toward a familiar kind of relationship lives somewhere older than that. It’s shaped by what felt normal, what felt like love, and what your body learned to read as safe, even when it wasn’t.
That isn’t a character flaw. Of course the familiar felt like home. The work isn’t about understanding it better. It’s about interrupting it at the level where it actually lives.
I’m not ready to talk to anyone yet. Is there something I can do on my own?
Yes. The FREE 7-Day Manipulation Detox is one short email a day for 7 days. There’s nothing to perform, no one to speak to, and no pressure to do anything except read. It’s a place to start when talking still feels like too much.
How many sessions will I need?
That depends on where you’re starting and what you’re working on. The one-to-one programmes run for 6 sessions. Worthy and Whole is a deeper programme that runs across 4 months. Trust Yourself Again, the group, runs across 4 sessions. Back on Track is a single 90-minute session for a woman who’s had a clear stretch and slipped back into an old pattern.
A free Clarity Call is the best place to start if you’re not sure which fits. You can find all the options on the Services page.
Rediscover. Reconnect. Recreate my life.
One conversation. And you get to decide.
You don’t have to be ready to commit to anything. You don’t have to have your story straight. Just be willing to say some of it out loud to someone who will not flinch.
You’re not doing this alone.
Not ready to talk yet? Start with the free 7-Day Manipulation Detox instead.
"I am tired but I did it with all the energy I had and found these emails to be glimmer of hope and doing these practices gave me the feeling I was finally not alone. I felt like she cares and in a short space of time I experienced a shift."Sandy T., after the 7-Day Detox